his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
