we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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