Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
