I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
