i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
