are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
