i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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