Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
