The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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