using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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