toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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