Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
