Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
