I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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