he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
