my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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