So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
