i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
