he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just found puke in my bra..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you had me at cake vodka
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
