I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You can't special order awesome
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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