i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
