Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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