Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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