just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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