think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
