we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
NoShamevember. You game?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
