Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
