She said her name was "party"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
