i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
