we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
