So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
