My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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