guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
