im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
