Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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