Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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