that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
