Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
