It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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