Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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