if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
