East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
