We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
