I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
