I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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