i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
