I cockslap morals
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
