I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
