so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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