I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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