Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
