I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
