i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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