batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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